Have you ever found yourself wondering, "am I a failure?".
When faced a difficult situation or a mistake you've made, do you give up on yourself or beat yourself down consistently?
If this sounds like you, then we have an answer to your question.
YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!
You are not your mistakes.
You are not the reason you were treated poorly.
You are not the cause of the traumatic event you experienced.
You are not the reason things aren't working out as expected.
You are not the relationship that didn’t work out.
You are trying your best.
You are the one who keeps showing up, who tries, who perseveres while feeling frail, who does the best to manage a human body with complicated emotions and feelings while mastering the messiness of being human. You need to be reminded that you are not a failure.
Failure is never an identity, simply an experience. Learn to separate what you did from who you are.
Failure is not final; it’s formative. It is part of the journey of life because how else are you going to grow if you never fail? To fail is to try and you should be proud of yourself for taking bold steps towards achieving a goal.
So, what do you do when you can’t get over the feeling of disappointment after failing at something?
We can understand that failing is a part of learning and still struggle with the feelings of disappointment, fear, anger, or shame that comes with it. One way to manage these feelings is by talking about it. Accepting the situation and acknowledging the feelings you're experiencing as a result of it can be a great first step in helping you navigating your emotions.
Another way to deal with the feelings that come from failing is by leaning on your support system. It's okay to be vulnerable about your failures and emotions with the people you love and trust. Allow yourself to lean on them when you face disappointments. That's where you will receive the strength and courage to try again.
Finally, seek therapy. Counsellors are there to help you navigate your emotions effectively before/if you're consumed or overwhelmed by them. Don't be afraid to reach out for professional help.
Remember, those who succeed do not stop at their failures. Begin to see failing as an invitation to learn, grow, improve and ultimately, bounce back stronger than ever.
Choose progress over perfection and don't be afraid to let people see you fail. You have something special to offer the world, don't let one (or a series of obstacles) stop you from showing the world your magic.
Keep this in mind the next time you feel stuck, overwhelmed, discouraged, or frustrated because of something you didn’t succeed at. You've got this!
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