Let's talk Low self-esteem issues

To begin with, how do you identify Low self esteem?

You feel unworthy so you accept low value treatment from people. You allow people treat you poorly, undervalue you, yet you still remain with them.

You compare yourself with others and forget to see your own light, thereby making you go back into your shell or even give up before trying.

You struggle with Negative self-talk as you only seem to highlight only the imperfections you have, forgetting all your good sides.

You always put the feelings of others before yours, despite how uncomfortable it may seem for you.

The list of symptoms can be very long, but these are some of the major signs.

Cambridge Dictionary defines Self-Esteem as belief and confidence in your own ability and value. This means that if the belief and confidence in your own ability is low, or you by any means doubt how valuable you are, then you may be experiencing poor self esteem.

Low self esteem can rob you of opportunities, waste your time and leave you feeling miserable for a long time. The worst thing is, it slowly creeps in… disguising as imposter syndrome, in trying to be humble, in trying to control what others think about you; and before you know it- you have become what a complete shadow of yourself.

In science, they say every action has an equal and opposite reaction. So can we say low self esteem is a reaction to an action directly or indirectly?

The answer is Yes.

Studies show that events or occurrences from our past have a way of staying in our minds and causing us to judge ourselves by how those events turned out. Most especially, if the effect of those events were severely negative. Some typical examples of such events can include:

• Having an unhappy childhood where parents or teachers were extremely critical of you.

• The experience of coming from an unstable home where you may have lacked basic necessities as opposed to your friends.

• Poor performance in academics, sports or other activities, resulting in a lack of confidence

• An abusive relationship

• Past traumatic experiences etc

• Stress from challenges of life etc

These experiences can have a negative effect on how we see ourselves, thereby leading to low self esteem. But it doesn’t have to remain that way and we will guide you on what to do in the next steps.

How can you Boost your self esteem?

By Constant Practice.

Convince your mind to believe all the best things about yourself, and this is how you do it:

• Challenge every negative self-talk with a positive response.

• Be Assertive, speak up when you don’t like or appreciate something.

• Fill up your day with positive affirmations.

• Accept yourself the way you are, your story is unique and beautiful in its own way.

• Practice self care and self love

• Get support from a therapist

• Read books on self development

• Identify your what your ideal self will look like and show up as them

• Surround yourself with genuine friends who truly care about you

• Stay around people who value you- like family.

• Believe in your abilities.

We hope this post has given you some insight into Self esteem and how you can build a healthy one, so you can live a more fulfilling and successful life.

Share if you found it helpful!

Are You At The Brink Of Burnout?

“The burn out phase was a nightmare which lasted for over a year. For many months, I could not handle sound, light or movement. I could not focus or handle information. I could not eat, sleep or cry. I was totally exhausted. making cereal felt like making a 5-course dinner. I was going to pick up my kids, but had to return without getting out of the car, because I could not move my legs. taking a shower was overwhelming. I could not make appointments, because I could not handle any kinds of expectations. at the lowest point, I was convinced that I would never work again.”

-Rising From The Ashes - A True Life Story By Wenche Fredriksen, Svp Head Of Diversity & Inclusion At Dnb | Keynote Speaker

At one point or the other, we have all experienced symptoms of burnout, however we may not have even noticed because of how slowly it creeps in and how it disguises itself, just like in the story intro.

The story above is of a woman whose life almost fell completely apart due to stress and burnout.

She thought she was working hard, she thought she was pushing for more out of life and chasing her goals optimally- but what she didn’t know was that her body and health were slowly deteriorating.

luckily, in the end, she was able to rebuild her life after taking a break for a full year. There are many stories of people who even lose their lives to burnout, these may be extreme scenarios but it all started from the tiny, little symptoms they felt and ignored.

The good news is, this doesn’t have to be your story, which is why we have written this blog post for you.

Some Key Signs That You Might Be Experiencing Burnout:

• A Gloomy Outlook, Frequently Accompanied By The Conviction That Nothing Will End Well.

• Inability To Focus/Concentrate.

• Lack Of Interest In Social Activities.

• Difficulty With Healthy Habits Like Exercise, Diet, And Regular Sleep.

• Feeling Like You're Never Doing Enough.

• Neglecting Your Own Needs.

• Personal Principles And Beliefs Become Less Significant.

• Getting Sick More Often.

• Constant Fatigue.

• Recurring Headaches Etc

The thing is- the signs are always there, you begin to feel different, sad and uninterested in life as opposed to how you used to feel before the burnout.

Another fact worth noting is that this feeling can linger for as long as it is ignored and worsens with time. it can end up affecting your job, relationships and even lead to depression.

Image Source: Verywellmind

As the popular saying goes, prevention is better than cure. Therefore it is wise to manage your stress in a way that it doesn’t lead to burn out.

Preventing Burnout:

The number one major cause of burnout is stress, overworking yourself. basically, accumulated stress that was left unattended to.

So, How Do You Manage Your Stress In A Way That Doesn't Lead To Burn Out?

• Include Exercise Into Your Routine:

Exercise is beneficial for our mental well-being in addition to our physical health. It gives us an emotional boost and works well to relieve stress, leaving you feeling rejuvenated.

• Maintain A Very Healthy Sleeping Pattern:

This is so important and honestly underrated. Sleep is the opportunity your brain has to relax from all the stress of working. Giving yourself adequate time to rest will improve your ability to function during the day and keep you alert and ready to take on your day effectively.

• Consume A Healthy Diet:

As we work, our body burns energy and we get this energy from the food we eat. This is why it is important to eat well. skip the junk and take in a balanced diet, this will ensure your body has all it needs to keep you running throughout the day.

Here Are Ways To Deal With Burnout.

• Recognize The Source Of The Burnout: Identify which adjustments are pertinent before you make any changes. that will largely depend on what caused your burnout. cut out whatever is at the source if you can. If your source of burnout is work-related, identify the issue and take every step possible to fix it. If you can't change at work, it might be time to resign.

• Change Your Routine: Burnout shows that your current routine isn’t as effective anymore and needs some reviewing. A quick remedy would be to include fun, non-mentally tasking activities in your routine, just to give you the opportunity to unwind and get rid of stress build up.

• Seek Therapy: Just like in the story we shared, cognitive therapy will help you change your perspectives and lower the expectations you have for yourself, which is causing you to burn out. This will help you understand how your mindset is not well paced to suit your current reality. When trying therapy, we will help you get out of the rut of burnout and prescribe practical steps that will prevent further occurrence. If you haven’t considered therapy, now is the time to do so. If you know someone who needs this, be kind enough to recommend it to them.

• Be Patient With Yourself: Burnout may be reversed, but it takes time. Just like in the intro story we shared, it took her one full year to recover. Even if you feel better right away, recovering from your previous state of tiredness permanently, actually takes time, so don't count on being able to solve everything right away. Keep in mind that this is a beautiful process as you work your way back to feeling healthier, more energized, and in overall, happy with your job and personal life.

We will conclude by sharing this story we found on Quora, from which you can pick some lessons:

A good friend of mine is an investment banker at a bulge bracket firm. Investment banks are notorious for unearthly working hours and workloads.

Roughly one year into working, he had a massive physical breakdown due to which he had to take bed rest for quite some time. I was extremely worried for him, and suggested that he might need to change his job.

The event really shook him, and I think he thought very hard about his personal health. fast forward three months, and he was the healthiest i had ever seen him - despite still working at the investment bank.

I asked him “man, this is great - but what did you do?”

He grinned “I sleep on time, day in and day out”

I laughed “what, that’s it!”

He continued “sleeping on time, and for the right amount of time, is forcing me to waste less time during the day. I have never been more efficient with my time, to the point that I now have 30 minutes to work out in the office. We don’t realize it, but we’re sacrificing time to sleep by wasting time during the day”

“I’ve never felt so motivated, fit and mentally peaceful because of this discipline”

I began to follow it, to incredible results. in life, that is so incredibly complex, this is really a silver bullet that solves a lot of things.

Sleep appropriately everyday, you’ll never burn out.

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Love & Light!

When you can't get over the feeling of failure.

Have you ever found yourself wondering, "am I a failure?".

When faced a difficult situation or a mistake you've made, do you give up on yourself or beat yourself down consistently?

If this sounds like you, then we have an answer to your question.

YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!

You are not your mistakes.

You are not the reason you were treated poorly.

You are not the cause of the traumatic event you experienced.

You are not the reason things aren't working out as expected.

You are not the relationship that didn’t work out.

You are trying your best.

You are the one who keeps showing up, who tries, who perseveres while feeling frail, who does the best to manage a human body with complicated emotions and feelings while mastering the messiness of being human. You need to be reminded that you are not a failure.

Failure is never an identity, simply an experience. Learn to separate what you did from who you are.

Failure is not final; it’s formative. It is part of the journey of life because how else are you going to grow if you never fail? To fail is to try and you should be proud of yourself for taking bold steps towards achieving a goal.

So, what do you do when you can’t get over the feeling of disappointment after failing at something?

We can understand that failing is a part of learning and still struggle with the feelings of disappointment, fear, anger, or shame that comes with it. One way to manage these feelings is by talking about it. Accepting the situation and acknowledging the feelings you're experiencing as a result of it can be a great first step in helping you navigating your emotions.

Another way to deal with the feelings that come from failing is by leaning on your support system. It's okay to be vulnerable about your failures and emotions with the people you love and trust. Allow yourself to lean on them when you face disappointments. That's where you will receive the strength and courage to try again.

Finally, seek therapy. Counsellors are there to help you navigate your emotions effectively before/if you're consumed or overwhelmed by them. Don't be afraid to reach out for professional help.

Remember, those who succeed do not stop at their failures. Begin to see failing as an invitation to learn, grow, improve and ultimately, bounce back stronger than ever.

Choose progress over perfection and don't be afraid to let people see you fail. You have something special to offer the world, don't let one (or a series of obstacles) stop you from showing the world your magic.

Keep this in mind the next time you feel stuck, overwhelmed, discouraged, or frustrated because of something you didn’t succeed at. You've got this!

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